Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Guide to Personal Chemistry
by Spunky0ne
Summary: When Byakuya and Kenpachi are punished for a rule breaking private fight, they are sent into the precipice world on patrol...but little do they know they have just become research subjects in Mayuri Kurotsuchi's dubious experiment! Yaoi...Kenpachi/Byakuya...mpreg
1. Mad Science

**Mayuri Kurotsuchi's Guide to Personal Chemistry**

**(Heehee! Byakuya and Kenpachi look out! Somebody's about to use you for a science experiment. Just in time for Valentine's Day and right on the heels of lovely Bya's birthday, this one is sure to please! Enjoy! Love you all, Spunky)**

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**Chapter 1: Mad Science**

_Squad 12 Captain's log Entry 212014: I don't know why I even bother with this record. There is nothing going on worthy of wasting a scientist's time chatting about and I have no interest in talk when there are things to be explored...things to be done. Although half of my latest batch of ingenious studies have just been scrapped by that philandering drunk of a head captain! Why was he chosen anyway? Weren't we at enough of a disadvantage in the quincy war with no leader? Having a raving drunk and girl chasing leader is even worse! _

_And to make things even more unpleasant, ever since his banishment was lifted, that scheming bastard, Urahara can't keep his nose out of everything I am doing! I want to make him my next experiment. I want to poison him with something that turns him into a writhing, slobbering puddle on the floor! He deserves as much and worse! And what's more..._

The twelfth division captain's fingers stopped, poised in the air over the keyboard as two raised voices sounded.

"I was gonna shred your pansy-ass and you know it!" Kenpachi's gruff voice rasped in annoyance, "I don't care what pretty new toys the king gave you. I was going to crush you if..."

"If you hadn't forgotten that we were training without reiatsu restraints to protect the area around our duel," Byakuya's solemn voice intoned haughtily, "I told you that it was a bad idea and we should have trained in Hueco Mundo where we would have been able to fight at full power without wrecking everything around us and putting Head Captain Kyouraku in a position to have to discipline us. Just be glad that his punishment was to have us assigned to patrol the precipice world and it _wasn't_ to just have us assigned to be that insane fool's research subjects!"

"Ahem," Kurotsuchi said, standing, crossing his arms and glaring at the other two captains.

He waited for Byakuya to apologize for what he'd said, then realized how foolish it was to think that the squad six captain would ever do such a thing as apologize for his rudeness.

"What do you two want?" he said crossly, "I am far too busy to entertain a brute and a stuffy prince. So, out with it. Why are you here? Be done with it and be on your way!"

"We have been assigned to patrol the precipice world," Byakuya said, turning a cold, gray eye on Kenpachi, "The captain commander ordered us to report here to be dispatched to the area at once."

"Oh ho ho!" the scientist chortled in amusement, "Goofing off again and getting yourselves into trouble, ne?"

"What th'hell? We were just training!" complained Kenpachi.

"Ah yes, _training_," Kurotsuchi mused, calling up the images of destruction from their fight onto his screen, "It seems that you incompetent louts tore up a big section of the Seireitei with your ridiculous attempt at training that did not include the proper restraints. How unsurprisingly stupid of you both!"

"Eh, shut up and point us in the right direction," Kenpachi growled, his eyes glowing a dangerous golden, "We have shit to do."

"We haven't time to trifle with you," Byakuya agreed, more properly stated, but every bit as rude.

"I ought to feed the two of you directly to the cleaner," Kurotsuchi seethed, "except that even it has more sense than to want to spend five minutes with the likes of you two! You give new meaning to the word _unpleasant_."

"We shall be happy to redefine it for you, yet again, if you do not cease annoying us and lay out the correct path for us," Byakuya offered sternly.

"As though that smelly baboon with you could find the correct path even if it was right in front of his eyes," Kurotsuchi muttered, tapping angrily at the keys on his computer.

"That is why I am here," Byakuya said evenly.

"No, that mess on my screen is why you are _both_ here!"

As the squad twelve captain worked, he watched the other two captains out of the corner of an eye, his dark mind finally coming back to life as he plotted out horrid ends for the two of them.

_Although, if I kill them, I may just end up back in the Maggot's Nest, given that they probably want that blasted Urahara reinstated anyway! So I can't kill these two, but hmmm, maybe I can use my knowledge of the precipice world and their 'patrol' time to torture them a little! If they like fighting so much, then I will just give them a place suitable for that. There's no problem with that, I don't think._

_Although, they may have a problem with the fact that I will control everything in their little world with mere taps of my fingertips..._

"Come on!" Kenpachi yawned, "Give us the path already. I wanna get this over with."

"I wouldn't want the person programming your path in to rush, if I was you. The precipice world is a dangerous place. One wrong step and you'd disappear, never to be seen again."

"And wouldn't that be a pity," Byakuya said dryly, "to have that barbarian disappear forever..."

"Just remember that you are going to be _with_ that barbarian. So whatever befalls _him_ will certainly affect _you_ as well."

"Be that as it may, we would like to begin our patrol as soon as humanly possible so that we can be done with it and part ways again quickly."

"What he said," Kenpachi rumbled.

"Fine, fine," Kurotsuchi said, looking down at his screen, then smirking to himself and altering the path slightly, "There."

Two hell butterflies floated into the room and fluttered in front of the captains as a senkaimon opened.

"Enjoy your patrol, _fools_," the scientist said under his breath as he watched the eleventh and sixth squad captains disappear down the chosen path.

As the doorway into the precipice world closed behind them, Kurotsuchi loosed a pleased snicker and returned to his computer.

"Ah, the day just got _much_ more interesting!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Where the hell are you takin' us, princess?" Kenpachi asked impatiently as Byakuya paused and studied the corridor carefully, then frowned and looked more closely at the hell butterfly leading them, "It's not so hard, right? Following the path we've been given. Or are you suddenly as clueless about directions as I am? That makes you kind of a hypocrite, doesn't it?"

"Be quiet, you smelly baboon. I'm thinking that there is a problem with the path we were given. This looks wrong."

"Well, I wouldn't put it past that creepy bastard to give us a bum steer, but it's not like he can kill us and get away with it, so I say we follow the damned butterflies and you keep your trap shut and your conspiracy theories to yourself."

Byakuya glowered threateningly at the other captain, but then straightened and continued along the path.

"So, when we get back, you wanna go to Hueco Mundo and let loose on each other?"

"Oh, now he wants to listen to the advice I gave him. What? Is it my birthday?" Byakuya huffed, remembering suddenly the savory dinner, cake and gifts he had enjoyed with Renji, Rukia, Tetsuya and Ichigo the night before.

"Oh yeah, it was your birthday yesterday, wasn't it?" mused Kenpachi, "Well, whenever the hell we get back, I'll buy you a drink and give you your birthday pounding. How's that?"

"I cannot wait," Byakuya sighed in annoyance, "That sounds so much better than the walk in the gardens and moongazing I had planned."

"Well, I do my best," Kenpachi drawled, grinning, "Anyone can give you a special dinner and a cake, but no one makes you bleed like I do."

"I would have to admit that is true. It is unfortunate for you that I do not have an affinity for bleeding for you."

"You might not, but you're not boring. And as boring as most other people are, that makes you good company."

"I am so flattered," the noble said in a deadpan voice, "After all, amusing you is what I live for."

"You know it," Kenpachi chuckled, looking around questioningly.

"Is something wrong?" Byakuya asked in a disinterested tone.

"You hear that?"

The noble slowed, then stopped as the distant hum moved closer and grew louder.

"I hope that thing's in the next corridor. This would be a bad place for us to run into it. So, is this what you were worried about?"

Byakuya's frown deepened.

"Not yet, but it is quickly moving in that direction. We should take this branch."

"Is that what the hell butterfly says?" asked Kenpachi.

"Forget what the butterfly says," the noble said tersely, "Isn't it clear to you that, that crackpot scientist purposely placed us in the path of that thing for a reason?"

"You're dreaming. He wouldn't have the balls..."

"No?" Byakuya asked sarcastically as the cleaner appeared ahead of them and rushed towards them.

"Aww, _fuck_, I'm gonna kill that son of a bitch!" Kenpachi roared, breaking into a run, "You coming, princess? Or are you planning on getting eaten by that thing?"

Byakuya turned and flash stepped after his running colleague.

"I'm going to take your head off if you continue to insist on calling me that!" Byakuya snapped falling into stride next to the other man.

"What's your problem?" chuckled Kenpachi, "I just call you that cause you're a pretty boy. I respect your sword."

"You'd better!" the noble said warningly, "Run faster, you fool. That thing is gaining on us! Damn you for not persevering at your flash step! You are a poor excuse for a captain."

"Yeah? Well they had to make me one after I cut down the last one."

"That is one backdoor into captaincy that I would very much like to see closed..."

The two turned a corner and looked back over their shoulders and groaned as the cleaner followed.

"Damn, get the hell off!" Kenpachi panted, running faster, "Hey, Kuchiki, you can go on ahead. You're faster."

"I am not going to lower my pride and let a comrade die. Move faster. I don't want to have to turn and take that thing on."

"Turn and take that thing on...hmmm," Kenpachi mused, his feet slowing and his body turning back.

"Kenpachi, what are you doing!" Byakuya cried, his eyes widening.

A chill went through him as the eleventh squad captain began to laugh loudly and stopped in front of the approaching cleaner, drawing his sword.

"Come on, you big shiny bastard," Kenpachi mocked the cleaner, "Come and show me what you've got!"

"Kenpachi, have you lost your mind?" Byakuya shouted, launching himself at his colleague and firing a blast of kido at the wall, where he caught sight of a dim outline.

"Oof!" grunted the big man as Byakuya's smaller, but respectably powered body struck his and the two crashed through the doorway.

A moment later, they began to fall through what appeared to be a heavy rainstorm.

"Kuchiki, you asshole!" howled Kenpachi, "I am kicking your pretty round butt when I find you!"

They crashed down into water and kicked furiously for the surface, shedding their heavy haoris and heading for the shore. Byakuya paused as Kenpachi went under, then surfaced and bobbed unsteadily for a moment before sinking again.

_He doesn't know how to swim?_

He angled his body in the direction where the other man had been and arrived there, moments later.

"Kenpachi!" he called urgently, looking around.

A hand took hold of his foot and yanked him down. Byakuya took hold of the person's arm and hauled him to the surface, scowling as Kenpachi surfaced and choked on the water, spewing it all over his piqued colleague.

"Baka!" the noble panted, ducking his head into the water to clean the area.

He grabbed the front of the other man's shihakushou and dragged him out of the deeper water, then the two staggered onto the shore and collapsed in the wet sand, working to catch their breath.

"Thanks, princess," Kenpachi managed, "I think I would have met my maker if you hadn't helped me out."

"Don't worry," Byakuya said wearily, "I won't forget that you owe me."

"Naw, not you."

The two men climbed to their feet and looked back out over the dark waters.

"Looks like we'll be in trouble for losing our haoris again," Kenpachi mused, scratching the back of his neck, "Good thing Kyouraku isn't such a dick about that as old man Yama was."

"Lucky for us," the noble agreed, looking around.

He spotted a partially covered area under a cliff, near the water and motioned towards it.

"That looks like a place we might get out of the rain."

"Sure," Kenpachi said, following him to the small recess.

The depression in the rocks was somewhat small, requiring the two men to huddle close together to enjoy protection from the rain.

"So, what now?" Kenpachi asked, "You know any way to get back?"

"No," Byakuya said, looking out into the darkness.

"Well, then why the hell'd you bring us down here?" the bigger man complained, "I coulda taken that thing on, and we'd be doing our stupid patrol and not sitting here getting wet and freezing cold!"

"You're insane!" Byakuya said, turning aside to avoid looking at the other man, "The cleaner would have swallowed you up and you would be dead!"

"Aww, what's that? You sound like you really care. Would you miss me if I was gone, princess?"

"Not in the slightest," Byakuya replied dryly, "It was only a matter of honor that I could not allow even a stupid fool of a comrade to die if I was in a position to save him. That's all."

"And you say I'm nuts," the big man laughed, "I say _that's_ nuts!"

"Exactly what I would expect from you," Byakuya huffed, shivering, "You know nothing of using proper manners or the rules of chivalry!"

"No," agreed Kenpachi, "I know about beating the shit out of things that try to kill me and killing. Those are my talents."

"Well, as much as we may need those talents now that we are trapped here, I would trade them for a warm blanket and a pillow right now."

"Yeah," Kenpachi mused, thinking back to his childhood in the low Rukongai, "Well, it looks like we've left the land of prissy nobles and splashed down into the wilderness, so if you want a pillow, you're gonna have to choose between that rock and my shoulder."

"Oh, let me think..."

"Be nice or I'll take back the offer," Kenpachi said, yanking the noble closer, then watching as Byakuya sniffed disapprovingly, then rested against the bigger man's shoulder. He was surprised at how quickly the cold went away as warmth radiated between them.

"Why don't you sleep first?" Kenpachi offered, "I'll keep watch."

"You'll probably fall asleep and we'll be monster bait before morning," Byakuya surmised, "You know that the door we came through marked the area as restricted. That means it's dangerous."

"I know what it means. Now, shut yer yap and get some sleep. I've got this."

"Are you sure?" Byakuya yawned, resting against the other man more firmly.

"Yeah."

"Very well."

Byakuya closed his eyes and slowly drifted off, losing awareness and completely missing the point at which an odd gas hissed out of the rock they leaned against and Kenpachi dropped off to sleep too.

Mayuri Kurotsuchi watched the monitor in front of him, snickering as Kenpachi began to snore loudly.

"Ah...this should be fun! A scientific study on whether or not a struggle to survive can bring two opposites together. I am really going to enjoy this!"

"Enjoy what?" asked Shunsui's calm, relaxed voice, "What are you doing there, Captain Kurotsuchi? Did you send those two I sent you off on their patrol?"

"Yes, yes," Kurotsuchi said impatiently, switching hastily to a different display, "You wanted them on patrol. They're on patrol. It hardly seems necessary for the captain commander to be about, checking up on rule breakers."

"Just doing my job," said the head captain, "You be sure and forward their reports as soon as they start coming in, okay?"

"Yes, whatever!" the twelfth squad captain said off-handedly, "Be on your way! I am busy here!"

"I'll expect to hear from you later then."

"Yes, yes," Mayuri said, flipping back to the display of the two sleeping captains, "I have a plan in mind for that too..."


	2. Upside Down

**Chapter 2: Upside Down**

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**(Thanks a million to the Kenpachi lovers who have gotten this story off to a roaring start! Sorry for the long wait, but I promise lots of updates all month long! Gratz to Suchan and Twelve (Okay, here's more for you, and I promise more is on the way! :) So happy you like the story!), Haikha (This one is promising to be more fun than a barrel of monkeys and more vicious too!), Bananafishh (So glad that tickled your funny bone!), khonlay (Aww, thanks so much! You're a sweetie!), Red Cr0w (Aww, you're spoiling me! Sorry about the long wait for this, but it's sure to have you smiling.), kyuumihaira (Mine too! I started writing it for Kenny's birthday month and had to wonder, why did I wait so freaking long? This is FUN!), PlayMyPoisonousGame (Then, more you shall have!), Purple Light Snow (Action delivered below! Watch for splashes of blood!), phAnt0mgh0st7018 (Oh yes...hotness is coming soon! Just a little buildup first!), LeAwesomeOne IX (Lol, can't fool you!), Aquarius Seth (You are so very welcome!), Nyma (Kenpachi and Byakuya are funny on their own, but throw in Kurotsuchi and it hurts to laugh so much!), Lily McKenzie -AND- Cody Zik (So glad you like the story!), Hime (I can't believe Kubo did such a great job promoting these two as a pairing, perhaps without meaning to be so effective! Bravo, Kubo! Bravissimo!), and SCJ0263 (You think you're grinning? Wait until Kenpachi gets to work!) Enjoy the new chapter! Love, Spunky)**

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_Squad 12 captain's log entry 212015: Finally! Something to do that is worthy of my attention. I have commenced the first phase of my newest experiment on creating and building the personal chemistry between people with absolutely none! My two subjects for the experiment are polar opposites, and two men who can't seem to share a room without glares, ugly threats and promises of bloodshed. We have the lovely, but terribly arrogant and snobbish Captain Kuchiki and the barbaric and bloodthirsty Captain Zaraki. Their antics have earned them time in the precipice world, which has created the perfect opportunity for me to study them up close in a setting that will either cause them to bond or to perhaps, more interestingly, to slaughter each other._

_In phase one of the experiment, the two subjects entered the precipice world and were shortly after, pursued by the cleaner. Surprisingly, although he could have merely saved himself, our arrogant Captain Kuchiki actually saved his beastly comrade by punching a hole into the wall and entering a restricted zone. After filing a reprimand and requesting that his punishment for destructive mischief be lengthened, I gave the matter some thought and have concluded that it was only a sense of duty to a comrade that caused Captain Kuchiki to act that way. He may be above the rest of us, but he does seem to function according to basic rules of chivalry. Captain Zaraki, on the other hand, is no such thing as chivalrous, I think. I will be testing that in phase 2._

_Phase 2 of the experiment will test Captain Zaraki's sense of camaraderie and fellowship. When offered a choice between killing something and saving a comrade, what will he choose? For this experiment, I fogged the two and allowed two of the wicked denizens of that pocket dimension to capture Captain Kuchiki. I had to induce a bit of pain and make some distraction so the little devils didn't actually kill Captain Kuchiki right away. Captain Zaraki provided a wonderful distraction when I let him wake to find Captain Kuchiki gone and signs of a struggle. Despite the barbarian's extreme lack of intelligence and poor sense of direction, he managed to follow the extremely careless trail the abductors left and is approaching the encampment now. I don't know whether to hope he arrives before or after the little devils roast and eat Captain Kuchiki. Ah, decisions, decisions!_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Ugh!" Byakuya groaned discontentedly, cracking his eyes open and reeling for a moment as he ingested the extreme wrongness and precariousness of his situation.

His body, he found, was bound and suspended upside down from a tall oak tree, poised over what looked to be hard, unforgiving ground.

"That stupid fool!" he hissed furiously, "I _knew _he would fall asleep! And I'll bet it was that blasted snoring of his that led whoever did this to me right to us. Damn him!"

He was careful to turn his head very slowly, this way and that, to survey his surroundings. Still before sunrise, it was impossible to see very far, and it appeared that whomever or whatever his captor, the beast or beasts had abandoned him, probably banking on his inability to affect his situation to keep the shinigami from escaping his predicament.

"But this is easily dealt with," the noble breathed softly, focusing briefly to let his power flow through him.

He caught his breath a moment later at realizing that nothing at all had happened. Stunned, he tried again and was met with the same disturbing result.

_Impossible. But not insurmountable._

He looked around again to make sure that he was not being watched and extended his senses.

_Strange. I understand that they have sealed my greater powers, but that shouldn't affect my innate ability to sense the reiatsu of my captors. What is going on?_

But whatever the case, the presence of a stack of wood and several jagged, rusty knives on the ground beneath where he hung left little doubt about what his captors were planning to do with him.

_Well, able to sense them or not, I cannot simply hang here and wait to become their food._

Looking around, he found a few strong looking branches hanging near him and carefully took hold of them. Gripping tightly, he was able to somewhat right himself and gradually worked his way to the knot that held him at the ankles. Although having to contort his body painfully, he worked slowly at the knot, pausing now and again to survey the brightening land around him. He heard voices and scuffling footsteps nearby and hastened his efforts, but was still not yet freed when his captors returned.

The two that stumbled back into the clearing looked vaguely like bears, but with ragged, patched fur, even more ragged and particularly smelly animal skin clothing and what looked to be wickedly sharp, retractable claws that emerged immediately upon seeing that their captive was attempting an escape. They charged immediately towards him, hissing and squealing loudly, then bounding onto the tree and using their claws to facilitate their climbing.

"Oh, this is not good!" Byakuya noted unhappily, drawing back and thrusting a foot at the one who reached him first.

The attack struck the attacking beast squarely in the face, stunning him enough to make him fall from the tree. He crashed down to the ground and loosed a howl sure to bring the return of any and all of the others like it.

Up in the tree, the second beast saw the downfall of his comrade and advanced more cautiously, drawing his lips back and revealing teeth as razor sharp as his claws.

_Ugh, if his claws and teeth don't make an end of me, I think his horrid breath and body odor will. He is as nasty and pungent as that bastard, Kenpachi._

_I am going to kill him for wandering off without waking me!_

_But I had best make sure I don't die first._

He turned his attention back to the snarling, hissing and, unfortunately, spitting beast that crouched near him, clinging tightly to the branch he was tied to and approaching him more carefully than his ill-fated comrade had. Byakuya dodged one slash of the creature's claws, but made a sound of pain as the beast quickly altered his aim and caught the evading captain with a second slash. Blood leaked from the substantial wound, running down the injured captain's arm and falling in droplets.

Beneath the two, the beast that had fallen blinked as a drop of blood nearly landed in his eye. He paused, sniffing and catching the scent of the blood, then removed the droplet with a padded finger and tasted it. He emitted a purr of delight and danced around, making an odd, squeaking and clicking noise, urging the one still in the tree to provide more of the unexpected treat. A few more drops fell and the beast on the ground howled impatiently, yapping at its comrade to hurry and finish their prey.

Up in the tree, the creature lowered its head and fixed its narrowed eyes on Byakuya's, watching him closely as it moved out onto the branch that held the shinigami captain. Byakuya swallowed hard, gauging his weight and that of the approaching beast and concluding that he was clearly about to die, either from having his entrails cut out or by falling to the ground, where he would probably sustain moderate to serious injuries before being eaten by the creature under the tree.

His estimate of doom became even gloomier as several more of the creatures burst out of the brush, squeaking and clicking like the beast under the tree. They joined their ugly comrade in dancing about and snapping their jaws in anticipation as the creature in the tree growled more fiercely and reached out to slash at Byakuya again. Luck was with the cornered captain and although the beast scored another solid slash, it lost its balance and fell onto its riled comrades. To Byakuya's surprise and morbid fascination, the ones beneath immediately ripped the creature apart and ate him instead.

_Kami! They are complete savages. I wonder if it even registered it was their own comrade and not me._

He stared as the ones below licked the blood from their fingers, and then breathlessly shifted to make himself less visible. The ploy seemed to work, which surprised and pleased the trapped captain to no end. He began to work at the rope that still bound one of his two feet, while keeping an eye on the enemies that moved about below him, smacking their lips and scuffling with each other as they pondered what to do next.

_They really are just about as stupid as that brute, Kenpachi..._

But stupid or not, the beasts didn't miss the moment when a few more drops of blood dripped off Byakuya's extended arm and splashed onto a number of them.

_Damn!_ Byakuya thought, working faster at the stubborn knot as two more of the scraggly beasts began climbing the tree.

He couldn't spare the attention to note why, all of a sudden, the ones beneath the tree suddenly quieted for a moment. It was a race against time as the two enemies quickly scaled the tree trunk and raced towards Byakuya. He just managed to pull free of his bindings as the two reached the branch that held him and dashed towards him. They realized a moment too late that they should, perhaps, have had one approach, due to the limits of what the branch could hold. The limb gave way with an audible snap and the two beasts screeched and fell.

Byakuya, for his part, managed to grab several branches, distributing his weight so that he hung precariously, only scant inches out of the reach of the creatures on the ground. Luckily for him, whatever had made them pause now had their full attention. Even the two that had fallen from the tree, squealed and joined their comrades as the group encountered the tall, grinning form of Kenpachi Zaraki.

"All right, you little shits, out of the way! Yo, Kuchiki, are you going to hang around there all day or get your ass down outta that tree and do your job!"

"What's wrong?" Byakuya asked haughtily, "You can't fight them on your own?"

"These guys aren't worth my time. You do it!"

"They've sealed away my powers," the noble informed his scowling comrade.

"So what?" Zaraki yelled, swinging a foot and sending one of the little beasts flying, "Just kick their asses and let's go! I'm bored."

"You stupid...!"

Byakuya's breath left him as one of their scraggly enemies raced up the tree and dashed out onto one of the branches holding the noble. Several of the branches snapped at once, and Byakuya felt himself beginning to fall. Bereft of his flash step and still without his powers in addition to not having time to recover himself, the noble crashed into the unforgiving ground and lost consciousness for a moment. He woke almost immediately, just in time to hear Kenpachi laugh at him and spit out something insulting. Then, a furry, but wickedly snarling face approached his, and through the haze before his eyes, Byakuya numbly realized he was about to die...again.

_This can't be happening. How can things have gone this wrong? My powers won't work, not even my innate abilities and now I cannot even move!_

_Ken...pachi!_

He stared into the deadly eyes of the one about to kill him, and was still staring as the tip of a sword suddenly emerged from the beast's chest and Zaraki's tall form appeared behind him.

"Damn it!" Kenpachi swore, flicking his weapon aside and watching the dead creature slide off the end as the captain at his feet groaned and lost consciousness again, "I can't believe I bloodied my sword on something so unworthy. You're gonna pay for making me do that, Kuchiki. Now, get up!"

He waited for a moment, glaring down at the unconscious and bloodied Captain Kuchiki, then he sighed resignedly.

"Fuck! You're a disgrace. I oughta leave your ass here and let something eat you, you little priss!"

But despite his off-handed words, the hands that slid under Byakuya's collapsed body were gentle as they lifted him, and the eleventh division captain only carried him to the nearest source of water so that he could wash his comrades oozing wounds.

"You should never have gotten so used to using that fancy shit," Kenpachi complained as he undressed Byakuya and carried him into the water, "You'd have been better off not wasting your time trying to get that stuff to work and beating the hell out of them with your leg that wasn't tied to the tree and the hand that wasn't hanging on. What's wrong? You don't have natural survival instincts? Or were you waiting for your fucking servants to come along and fight'em for you?"

"Sh-shut up!" Byakuya panted, spitting out a mouthful of water, "And stop trying to drown me, you f-fool!"

"Hey," Zaraki said, grinning widely, "You're still alive. Great."

He let go of the noble and watched in amusement as Byakuya's naked body sank beneath the surface of the creek and disappeared for a moment, before emerging in an explosion of water that splashed all over his now laughing colleague.

"What? You don't know how to wash your own ass either?" he mocked the furious noble, "Well, I hate to tell you. We don't _have_ any servants out here, so do it yourself. I ain't your nurse or your slave, so don't think I'm doin' it for you. If you're conscious, you fix yourself!"

"Bastard!" Byakuya fumed, "You think I should abandon my powers and use my hands and feet to pummel everything to death, do you? Well, why don't I start with _you_!"

"Bring it on, princess!" Kenpachi taunted him, "Let's see what you've got! You've gotta be better than those little wimps, even beat up like you are, so let's go!"

Byakuya launched himself at the other man, ignoring the stinging of his wounds and the ache of weariness and blood loss, and landing the first blow before falling into a scathing exchange of punches and kicks. Despite the poor condition of his body, he forced Kenpachi back several feet and landed a sharp blow to the other man's head with a feisty kick. He tensed, preparing to strike again, then staggered back as his injuries began to take their toll.

"Aww, damn," Kenpachi complained, watching as Byakuya's legs quivered beneath him, then gave way. leaving him in a heap at the bigger man's feet, "It was just starting to get good, too."

He sighed resignedly and collected his, once again unconscious, comrade, carrying him back to the water and carefully washing, then binding his wounds.

"Did you even notice you were naked?" he chuckled as he worked, "You don't look half bad without clothes, Kuchiki. You should go without'em more often. Guess that wouldn't go over so well at home, though, ne? Not much good for fighting either."

He finished his work and paused, looking down at Byakuya's naked and bandaged body, then leaning forward to clean the smudges of dirt and blood from his face.

"I'm probably not as thorough as your slaves at home, but I did my best, okay?"

"S-stupid ogre," Byakuya mumbled dizzily, "We d-don't have slaves. Th-they are...attendants."

"Same thing, toots."

"Will you _p-please_ use my name when you speak to me?" the noble groaned.

"Okay, okay, fine, Byakuya," Kenpachi said, smirking.

"Perhaps you should just not speak to me," the injured noble sighed, "Even my name sounds like an insult when you say it."

"Hey, I just healed you and gave your naked ass a bath. You be nice or I'll start kicking it again."

"As though you could..."

"Shut up, will you? You're pissing me off when you can't back it up with a good fight. I'm not gonna kick a guy when he's down, so shut your yap and get some rest, okay?"

"May I at least have my clothes? I don't think I feel safe being naked around you."

"Why? Princess, if I wanted your ass, I could've had it already. You're cute, but I'm not interested in that shit."

Byakuya started to issue a heated reply, then paused and frowned thoughtfully.

"I'm curious," he confessed, looking back at the bigger man as he tossed the noble his clothes, "were you saying that you just weren't interested in me or is it falling in love that you wish to avoid?"

"Why? You looking for a boyfriend? I told you I'm not interested."

"Neither am I," Byakuya replied shortly, "But you didn't answer my question. which was it?"

"Why do you want to know so bad?"

"I don't. I suppose it doesn't matter," Byakuya said, slipping back into his torn and bloodied shihakushou.

He followed quietly as Kenpachi led him into a forested area and picked out a hidden shelter in a cluster of bushes. Kenpachi set his back against a tree. Byakuya started to lay down on the ground a short distance away, but was stopped by the sound of his comrade's voice.

"Don't be so standoffish," he chuckled, "After all, you did say you wanted to date me."

"You're out of your mind! I did not!"

"I was kidding. You and I should sleep close together. It's cold."

"You smell bad."

"Get used to it. It's that or freeze to death."

"Hmmm."

"Get over here, will you?"

"Promise first you won't speak to me anymore while we're here."

"I told you to be nice. Or are you only nice to rich assholes like you?"

"Material wealth has nothing to do with how I treat a person."

"Then, how come you treat me like garbage?" Kenpachi asked, smirking.

"Because you smell like it," the noble answered dryly.

"How about neither of us talks to the other? How's that?"

"Works for me."

"Goodnight, Byakuya.

"Hmph..."

XXXXXXXXXX

_Squad 12 captain's log entry 212016: An interesting set of developments. It seems that brute does have a few redeeming qualities. When he saw Captain Kuchiki's life was actually threatened, he acted quickly and in a fiendishly brutal way to protect him, then saw to his wounds, only reverting to caveman behavior whenever Captain Kuchiki regained consciousness. It will be interesting to study this behavior in more detail. The two seemed to get rather more friendly for a few scant seconds before returning to hating each other._

_Ah, but the monitors indicate that Captain Kuchiki's wounds are depleting him. I will act to effect enough of a cure to leave him still a bit helpless, but not dying._

"Nemu! Send a drone to Captain Kuchiki to give him a transfusion of blood and reiatsu. The fool is going to die if someone doesn't do something. And as much as I love the idea of a world with one less stuffy noble in it, I do have work for that fool to do before I kill him."

"Yes, Master Mayuri," his vice captain answered, her hands flying over the keyboard in front of her.

Mayuri watched quietly as the drone crept into an opened senkaimon, then floated through the precipice world, passing through the wall of sludgy reiatsu and entering the pocket dimension where the six and eleventh squad captains were trapped. It buzzzed softly as it approached the two, then emitted a soft beeping as a long syringe emerged. It closed in on Byakuya, where the noble now laid, leaned up against a dozing Kenpachi. It reached Byakuya and hovered in front of him, moving in to begin the transfusion.

"Fucking mosquitos!" Kenpachi grumbled, swatting at the drone and sending it soaring away, where it struck a tree, crashed down into the water, where it fizzled and sparked, then quickly expired.

"Blasted MORON!" Mayuri roared, "NEMU!"

Mayuri stiffened and stared in fascination as Kenpachi looked more closely at Byakuya and scowled.

"Fuck. You're dying, aren't you?" he muttered, thinking quickly.

The twelfth division captain made a sound of shock as a different kind of reiatsu gathered around Kenpachi's hands.

"You're gonna die if I don't do something, so I'm gonna get a little reckless here. Hope you don't mind, Kuchiki. This oughta perk you back up."

"Th-that can't be," Mayuri managed dazedly, "He can't be using...is he using his own life force to save Captain Kuchiki?"


	3. Sharing Life

**Chapter 3: Sharing Life**

_Squad 12 captain's log entry 212017: I think it's remarkable, the kinds of things a scientist encounters when dealing with dangerously unstable compounds. The constant threat to life from explosions, mingled with the temptation of new discovery is unexpectedly tantalizing. This time, the dangerous factor in my experiment is the mingling of the brutish and completely intractable captain of the eleventh division with the more refined, but every bit as deadly, Captain Kuchiki of the sixth. And although, for the most part, Captain Kuchiki is the more stable, he loses some of that stability when involved in dealings with Captain Zaraki. When working with chemicals, the result is usually a painful and devastating explosion. I wonder what will happen when our fairer comrade realizes what measures Captain Zaraki employed to save his life. This should be very, very interesting._

Mayuri turned his eyes to the monitor in front of him, watching curiously as the sun rose in the pocket realm the two captains were entrapped in and Byakuya stirred and began to come awake.

"Ugh," the noble groaned, opening his eyes into slits and grimacing as the first sight that met his eyes was a shirtless and grinning Kenpachi, who shoved a cup of hot tea into his hand and chuckled in greeting.

"Not feeling so good this morning, eh Kuchiki? Drink this. It will make you feel better."

Byakuya took a sip, then choked and coughed, spitting out the bitter concoction.

"This had better have some astonishing curative properties to compensate me for the egregious assault on my senses," he complained.

"Naw," the bigger man laughed, "it's just green tea. Shut up and drink it."

"Just tea," Byakuya repeated disbelievingly, "and tell me, exactly what contortions did you put those tea leaves through to arrive at such a travesty of flavors? The only fortunate thing in drinking it is that my taste buds are being burned into numbness so I won't have to suffer for very long."

"Does that mean you'll shut up and stop pissing and moaning about it?" Kenpachi asked, narrowing his eyes, "Cause that would be a good thing for me. Take it easy, all right? You had the shit pretty much knocked out of you. You're lucky to be alive to experience how bad my tea is. You should be six feet under, you know."

"I am all too aware of that," the noble sighed, his frown deepening, "In fact, I little know how I am still breathing."

He paused and looked down at his hands for a moment, extending his senses and examining his reiatsu. After a few moments, a look of confusion rose on his fine features and he turned his gaze on his fellow taichou.

"Kenpachi," he said, considering his words carefully as he spoke, "I...assume that you infused me with your reiatsu? I sense yours radiating in my body. You must have had to employ a number of infusions over much of the time I was unconscious. I do hope you managed to get some rest as well."

"You worried about me?" the bigger man asked, grinning.

"No. I simply know that we will likely need both your skills and mine to escape this horrid place at some point."

"You're worried about me," Kenpachi laughed, "I'm touched."

"I wasn't concerned for you," Byakuya said tersely, "I am concerned for our survival."

"Well, I have that in hand, okay? You should be quiet and rest some more."

"You probably need the rest more than I do after repeated infusions."

"I didn't do repeated infusions. I just gave you one really powerful one," Kenpachi explained.

"One...powerful one?" Byakuya inquired, his frown deepening.

"Yeah," the eleventh division taichou answered, crouching beside the fire he had built and stirring the contents of a large black pot, "Regular reiatsu wasn't going to do shit, so I used something with a little more kick."

"A little more...?"

Kenpachi scowled.

"What are you, slow?" he asked irascibly, "If reiatsu's not enough, there's always life juice."

"_Life juice_," Byakuya repeated in a horrified whisper.

Watching through the monitor, Mayuri cackled in amusement.

"Oh, this is to die for!" he exclaimed.

Back in the pocket dimension, Byakuya fixed widened grey eyes on Kenpachi's rebellious green ones and struggled for words.

"D-do you mean to tell me that you...used your own life force to bolster mine?" he inquired, the words making his insides clench, "Do you _know_ what you have done?" Byakuya managed in a disbelieving tone.

"Yeah," Kenpachi said, resuming his more jovial demeanor, "I didn't let you die. You're welcome, by the way. You want some soup to go with that tea?"

"What? Are you trying to finish what those beastly little monsters started yesterday?" the noble asked, shaking his head, "You are out of your mind!"

"Hey, you don't have to be such a pain in the ass about it. It's just soup. And yeah, I'm not the best cook, but beggars can't be choosers, right?"

"I was talking about you filling my veins with your alarmingly uncontrolled and extremely _pungent_ life force, you moron! Do you even remember that doing that is a crime? And there is a reason it is a crime. Life force is hard to manage. It is too easy to give too much and die."

"Well, I didn't, see? I'm still breathing!" Kenpachi snapped.

"And the mixing of two life forces, especially two _captain level_ life forces can have explosive results!"

Kenpachi smirked.

"Well, you did pass a little gas while you were sleeping, but no one died, so it's fine, ne?"

Byakuya stared back at him in disbelief.

"Do you think this is some kind of joke?" he demanded furiously, "And...and aren't you the one always trying to _kill_ things, _especially me_! You challenge me to fight to the death nearly on a daily basis."

"Well, how am I supposed to fight you if you're already dead?" the eleventh division captain posited, "I said I wanted to fight you to the death, not just watch you die all by yourself. It's more honorable to die fighting."

Byakuya's lips parted and a flustered look overcame his lovely features.

"But if you would go to such lengths to save me, why would you want to kill me yourself?"

Kenpachi studied his noble companion for a moment, then shrugged.

"Because you're strong enough to give me some level of challenge, especially after those quincy bastards almost did us in and you went up there to the royal realm and got yourself an upgrade."

"Ugh," Byakuya sighed, letting his face drop into his hands in capitulation, "You don't make sense at all. I mean, you would risk your own life to save mine, but then you'd take it just for fun. Don't you see how ridiculous that is? If you care for protecting someone's life, you shouldn't then _take it yourself_!"

"Maybe," Kenpachi shrugged, "but the truth is, you're really pretty when you fight."

Byakuya stared back at him wordlessly.

Kenpachi leaned closer, brushing a few stray hairs away from his face and Byakuya felt the oddest sense of those hands being caring, even loving in the way they touched him.

"Bold white reiatsu," he went on in a softer rumble of words, "curling all around you like an ice storm...death in those big grey eyes of yours. Your hair fluttering all around your face and your face smudged, not perfect or clean. The smell of sweat and blood is better mixed with that sweet smell that's always around you. And your clothes look good torn and stained with blood from the good fight, the kind you put your heart into and that you really want to win. You move like the swamp cougars down in the low Rukon where I grew up, stalking your opponent like prey and drawing them out to understand them before moving in and making the kill."

Byakuya gazed up into the bigger man's intense hazel eyes that were now much closer, his heart pounding strangely in his chest and his throat suddenly gone dry.

"Kenpachi," he said in an almost dazed tone, "you are a _very, very deranged person_."

"I'm crazy cause I think you're beautiful when you fight?"

"No," Byakuya said, his eyes darkening slightly as an image of his father flashed in his mind, "You're crazy because you glorify battle. I guess it's fine if you want to be out there yourself. But there are people who only fight because they have no other choice, people who trying to protect something or someone they care about. They lay down their lives without realizing that their lives are precious to the ones they leave behind. That is what I learned from losing my own father and from nearly dying at As Nodt's hands."

"So...what? You think we should all just lay down and let them slaughter us together?"

"No," the noble said impatiently, "but you shouldn't assume that throwing your life away or taking someone else's is _fun_. It's not fun to the people who get left behind...the ones who love you or the ones you slaughter."

"Byakuya," Kenpachi said, shaking his head, but still smiling slightly, "who the hell cares if I die? I'm a lowly thug from the low Rukon, not a noble prince like you. When you live in that place, the only thing you know is that you have to kill or you will be killed. Protecting someone just makes you an easier target."

"You protected Yachiru," the noble pointed out quietly.

Kenpachi nodded.

"She was never a burden. She was born knowing how to stay out of the way and out of trouble. She was never a defenseless little tyke that needed me that badly."

"But you are protective of her. That much became clear when you could not find her after the second invasion of the quincies."

"Yeah, well, I wouldn't like it if she got killed, you know?"

"I didn't like it when my father was killed...but at least he was killed doing something important, something honorable. He wasn't throwing his life away for fun."

"What about that shit you were spouting a minute ago?" Kenpachi asked pointedly, "That stuff about how dying in battle hurts the people you try to protect? How does the way someone you loved died matter anyway? Dying honorably, dying stupidly, they're still just as dead, ne? And that's a place we're all going anyway, isn't it? So, why not get strong and have fun trying to stay alive in a world that's already going to kill you?"

Byakuya paused, blinking in surprise at the confusing swirl of emotions the other man's words conjured in him.

"You okay, Kuchiki? You need a little more life juice?" Kenpachi chuckled.

"You really are insane," the noble said, shaking his head and sighing resignedly, "but I suppose I should at least thank you for saving my life. I think, however, that you should be glad that you're not of noble origin...because sharing life force? I've read in the old stories, the ones from before the practice was banned. When noble men fell in love and exchanged their life forces, it created an unbreakable bond. From that day, the two were inseparable, the passions between them so strong that they could give themselves only to each other, that even when apart, they could feel each other's pain, see through each other's eyes. And even though they were male, one could give the other a child."

"What?" Kenpachi snorted, blowing a measure of his tea out of his nose, "Are you shitting me, Kuchiki?"

"No," Byakuya confirmed, "It is well documented, although the documentation is carefully controlled so that not so much is known about the process by the general population. Even knowing about such a thing might encourage it's use...and the elders of the time in which it was banned saw the danger in that."

"Yeah, well we've got no need to worry," Kenpachi laughed softly, "If we want to have sex, we're in the clear, right?"

"Did you _really _just say that to me?" Byakuya mused, rolling his eyes.

"Heh, I was just kidding, Kuchiki. I know I've got no business touching a prince like you. Though...who doesn't want to touch something soft like that sometimes?"

"You're out of your mind," Byakuya said, closing his eyes.

He felt something change inexplicably in front of him and opened them again to find Kenpachi's face was much closer and the bigger man's hazel eyes were glaring deeply into his.

"What are you doing?" he managed in a whisper, "Kenpachi..."

"You married a Rukon girl," Kenpachi remembered, "You don't hate what's not like you. You get curious, don't you? You want to touch what's on the other side of the fence, ne?"

"Hisana was nothing like you."

"No."

"She never belonged in the low Rukon. She was too gentle..."

"And it ate her alive, even though you tried to save her."

Byakuya sighed and closed his eyes.

"Hey, don't get all weepy," Kenpachi chided him, "We all have people we love, but can't protect. It doesn't make you a bad person. You tried, right? You took her away from there, gave her a good home and all of your affection. Just because she died anyway doesn't mean it was all for nothing. You loved each other, right? You had five years together."

"We did," Byakuya agreed, "and despite her illness, there were many good times."

"See, so it wasn't a wasted effort. Each of you gave and got. You shared things that meant something."

"Yes."

"Well, you must have really loved her to still look sad when people mention her fifty something years later. Or maybe it isn't sadness, really. You just look lonely. You ever consider remarrying?"

"I suppose I will have to, at some point," Byakuya answered, frowning, "I have an obligation, being the most powerful and the clan's leader, to continue my legacy for the clan's benefit."

"But don't you miss having someone? I haven't had anyone like that, so I couldn't tell you how it is with me. I just think that it would be good to have that. If you have a choice, why not?"

"Why not?" Byakuya repeated, his dark, smoky eyes meeting Kenpachi's again and remaining firmly locked.

The two remained frozen for several long moments, a heady feeling of dark temptation teasing both men dangerously. And before he quite realized it was happening, Byakuya leaned forward very slowly, bringing his lips to the other man's and brushing against them lightly. Kenpachi flinched and stared, stunned into silence at the softness of the lips that sought his and overcome by the mingled scents of sakura and fiery, scorched earth. His arms slipped around the slighter man, pulling him closer as he bit down on that sinfully soft mouth, then teased it open and slipped his tongue inside to explore more thoroughly. Byakuya's hands came to rest on his shoulders, neither quite holding on nor pushing him away. The noble's eyes closed against what was happening and even though he knew very well it was wrong, he couldn't make himself move to stop what was happening. Instead, he kept his eyes closed and opened his mouth wider to permit even deeper penetration.

_Kissing Hisana was never like this_, he mused inwardly, _She was fragile and I was always having to hold back my reiatsu so I wouldn't overwhelm her. I could never relax into our kisses like this. Kenpachi won't break and neither will I. We can love each other more ruthlessly. I never realized what an attractive thing that was._

_But..._

His mind went blank for a moment as he felt Kenpachi's hand loose the tie on his yukata and he slid onto the bigger man's lap, returning Kenpachi's kisses with equal ferocity. Heat and reiatsu flared around the two, exciting the breezes around them and making the leaves in the trees flutter. But neither man noticed a thing, wholly focused on each other as they kissed with more fervor and Byakuya ground his hips into the other man's, reeling at the size of him, unable to fathom how he would dare to take something like that inside himself. But he couldn't move or object as the bigger man's fingers slid down between them and slowly prepared him and he went nearly breathless as Kenpachi's hands captured his hips and guided him with unusual care as they joined thier bodies.

Byakuya's head dropped onto Kenpachi's damp, muscular shoulder and he panted harshly at the sting. He expected the other man to be impatient and to move immediately, but to his surprise, Kenpachi held perfectly still, his rough hands sliding up and down Byakuya's slender back.

"You okay?" the bigger man asked in a low, husky voice that suggested the restraint wasn't so easy for him.

"Fine," Byakuya answered, suspecting that his words were somewhat of a lie, but overwhelmed with a pressing need for completion, "Move!"

Kenpachi's hips bucked upward, dragging a heavy groan from deep in Byakuya's heaving chest. He moved with the bigger man, burning in the hard flares of their reiatsu and not having to open his eyes to know they would be met with a wild, feral glare. Nothing mattered at all except rising and falling, straining for that blissful explosion. He was sure it would have to hurt, but he couldn't help thinking that it was also stunningly beautiful, being touched in ways and places he had never been touched. And being touched in that deep, secret place that made stars catch fire behind his eyes and sent shivers up and down his spine was, he thought, worth the slight discomfort. His eyelids fluttered and his moans thickened as he felt the approach of something that was nothing short of heavenly.

"_Kenpachi_!" he managed, unable to believe that such a savage could cause such a strong elation in his loins and all over his body as his pleasure peaked and the hard shudders of release began.

Then everything disappearing into a haze of heat and light as Kenpachi groaned and unleashed himself completely. It was a moment that was as terrifying as it was beautiful and as dangerous as it was fulfilling. Byakuya felt everything disappear for a moment, then found himself lying on his back under the bigger man's collapsed form. Although trapped, he certainly felt no discomfort in his comrade's warm embrace, so he fought off the urge to say anything and instead closed his eyes again and slowly surrendered to sleep.

_It's impossible, of course._

_It only happened because we were trapped here and I let my guard down with him._

_But it will be fine._

_Once we go home, we'll regain our senses and forget about this._

Back in his lab, Mayuri looked up and found Nemu standing frozen and staring at the image of the two copulating captains.

"Stop ogling those two and get back to what I told you to do!" he scolded her.

He shook his head and returned his attention to the screen, cackling softly as the two climaxed violently, then collapsed together.

"A fascinating experiment," he muttered, "but it's a good thing for Soul Society that they are trapped in that pocket dimension and not where they could cause real damage."


	4. Collisons

**Chapter 4: Collisons**

**(Hey guys! Be sure to check out my list of active stories on my profile page. And there's a new poll to help me decide what stories to add to the active list as some get finished. Thanks so much to Periwinkle (Thanks! I will!), Picklez80 (I don't think it will be too long before they know something's up.), Kamelcake (He might just destroy Kenpachi when he figures it out!), Winterheart2000 (Sorry for the gut busting, but I can't help it. These two are just too funny together!), Anon (Yup, here's more!), Khonlay (Here you go!), Girls-luv-manga (Oh, wait until you see what Nemu does next!), RedCr0w (And the touching in naughty ways goes on...!), Aquarius Seth (You are so welcome!), Sachiko Heiwajima (There will be some serious fireworks when the truth comes out!) and Kyuumihaira (Yup! Just wait until they find out!) Love you all, Spunky)**

_Squad 12 Captains' Log Entry 212018: It is a comfort in science that when you have a compound, it has a defined nature and acts a certain way when exposed to other unique compounds. Some mixtures result in explosions, but mostly some poor fool in the past has charted that it explodes, so a scientist knows what is likely to be dangerous. It is nearly impossible that a compound A and a compound B will react differently to each other. Unless some other factor is varied, the two compounds should act as expected. Take the brutish Captain Zaraki and the more refined Captain Kuchiki. Let us label them Compound Z and Compound K. Compound Z usually tries to brutalize every other compound and Compound K avoids collisions with other compounds unless it is directed into the collision by a clear violation of the rules or laws. Yet here, in this removed environment Compound Z is not brutalizing or even attempting to brutalize Compound K. Compound Z is, in fact, naked and tightly wrapped around Compound K and Compound K that was repelled with some force from Compound Z before, is equally naked and contentedly relaxing in Compound Z's arms._

_There is a reason I enjoy science more than people..._

_XXXXXXXXXX_

"So, what the hell was that, Kuchiki?" Kenpachi sighed sleepily, "I thought you didn't like me."

"I don't," Byakuya answered, frowning, "but you do have your moments."

"Oh, and what are those? I want to know, see, because it would be nice to know when you wouldn't try to kill me for trying to seduce you."

Byakuya regarded him silently for a moment from out of the corner of a smoky eye.

"I like you when your sword is sheathed and you are focused on something other than killing everything in sight," he said finally, "No one ever spoke to me like you just did. It was...different."

"I was just telling it like I see it. That's what I do."

"But it was more than that," Byakuya went on, "For a moment, it wasn't about just you and just your pleasure. You said what you did to me, and you did it because you wanted me to know. I'm not used to hearing your words and finding in them anything but a longing for self-gratification...looking into your eyes and seeing anything but bloodlust. You looked at me as one would look at a work of art and your words made me feel like one. That is why I was...overcome."

"Heh," the bigger man chuckled, sliding a hand down over the noble's smooth bottom, "So, I just whisper sweet nothings in your ear and you'll spread your legs for me, is that it?"

Byakuya's dark eyes flashed and he swatted Kenpachi hard on one bare shoulder.

"Ow! What is that? More foreplay?"

"No, you imbecile!" Byakuya hissed, sitting up and starting to pull away, "That was insulting!"

"What was insulting? You said the way I looked at you and talked to you made you want to fuck me."

"Ugh!" Byakuya groaned, wincing, "You are horrid! Get away from me!"

"So...what, now everything I say pisses you off? You know, Kuchiki, that's a little crazy, if you ask me."

"Crazy," Byakuya repeated angrily, grabbing his clothes and starting to dress, "Yes, I am crazy. I am crazy to ever think for a minute that you could move beyond the primal _ape_ you are and actually act somewhat human!"

"That's funny," Kenpachi chuckled, "because I think we were both acting more primal, crawling all over each other all night like we did."

"I must have been out of my mind to let a baboon like you talk me into...ugh! I cannot believe I did that!"

"Calm down, all right?" Kenpachi said, wrapping a hand around the infuriated noble's arm and earning a deadly glare in reply, "You don't need to get so pissed off. I'm not like you. I didn't have anyone growing up to teach me how to be polite. Is there an etiquette for casual fucking? If there was, I wouldn't know. Just tell me what I said wrong and I won't say it. Taking off now would be stupid. Think about it. You know staying together is safer."

"You are repulsive!" Byakuya spat angrily, "Just don't say _anything _else to me."

"You're being kind of nasty to the guy who saved your life you know. You could show a little more gratitude."

"I showed you all of the gratitude you're going to get last night!" Byakuya snapped, "Now stop speaking to me!"

"Fine, whatever..." Kenpachi sighed, shaking his head and retrieving his sword, "Which way should we go next?"

Byakuya let out an impatient breath.

"I think I sensed the Dangai in that direction," he said, pointing the way.

"Okay then. Let's get to it."

Kenpachi watched as the disgusted noble disappeared in a scathing flash step, then shook his head and followed.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Nemu! Run a full scan on Captain Kuchiki to make sure the stupid fool isn't still going to die. And you'd better scan that brute captain too, in case his little gift of life force might have put his own life in danger."

Mayuri tapped furiously on the buttons in front of him, his scowl deepening as the room remained silent.

"NEMU!" he shouted, "Where is that ridiculous girl, anyway?"

He shook his head and huffed out a furious breath, punching the buttons almost hard enough to crack them as he began to run the scans himself. Pages of code danced across the monitor in front of him and he studied the results of his scans carefully.

"Odd," he muttered, punching more buttons and looking more closely as Byakuya's scan, "An errant reiatsu? He must have picked up a parasite, though it doesn't look like it's anything dangerous. I hope it makes him itch horribly!"

He ran another scan and shook his head at the results, then scowled and looked around the lab.

"Nemu? Nemu! Damn it, where is that useless girl!"

XXXXXXXXXX

In a hidden room, secluded deep within Kuchiki Manor, the Shinigami Women's Association gathered quickly, whispering excitedly to each other.

"I wonder what this is all about," said Kotetsu Isane, passing around the snacks and watching as Nemu took up a position behind the group and focused on a white screen in the front of the room.

"I just hope it's not a waste of time," Rangiku pouted, "I was about to have lunch with a very nice looking guy."

"It _better not_ be a waste of time," Lisa huffed softly, making Nanao nod in agreement.

"You will not be disappointed," Nemu informed them, "You know how our group has not been able to get pictures of Captain Kuchiki for our annual Man of the Year calendar?"

The others nodded and a soft rumble went through the room.

"Do you think we can do something with this?" Nemu asked, activating her internal projector and displaying what she had recorded onto the screen.

Soft inhales sounded around the suddenly hushed room and Nanao swiftly covered Yachiru's widened eyes.

"Whoa, Kenny!" she laughed gaily, "I don't think that looks like fighting...but he looks really happy!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"What's the matter, Kuchiki?" Kenpachi asked, studying the discomfited look on the Kuchiki heir's face and the light sheen of sweat on his fine skin, "You turning into a pussy like that Shihoin lady, Yoruichi? You need a cat nap?"

"What are you babbling about, you overgrown monkey?" Byakuya snapped irritably, "And why did you mention that awful were-cat? The less I hear about her, the better!"

"Boy, you're in a crappy mood, aren't you? You pissed that you can't find an entrance into the Dangai any better than I can?"

"Shut up!" Byakuya hissed, "It's obvious enough what has happened. That raving lunatic of a scientist has trapped us in here."

"What? The cleaner chased us in here," Kenpachi objected, "And it was you that blasted us in here to keep us alive. We got ourselves in here. You can't blame him."

"Oh, yes I can," Byakuya insisted, pausing to climb over a fallen tree that blocked their path and completely missing the sign that read: _DANGER: Restricted Area - Barrier Beetle Habitat_.

"You really think that he'd try that crap with Kyouraku checking up on him all the time. You know the captain commander doesn't trust him to shit on his own, right?"

"Shunsui Kyouraku is a lazy drunk," Byakuya said, arching an eyebrow, "Even if he doesn't trust Kurotsuchi, that doesn't mean he will catch him when he is up to no good."

"Eh, quit worrying about that," Kenpachi sighed, looking around, "Just let's find that gate back into the Dangai, all right? We can be back in our divisions by tonight, me beating the shit outta my subordinates and you walking in your gardens, by tonight, okay? Will that make you stop complaining?"

"It would if it was true, but..."

Byakuya paused and frowned suddenly.

"What's the matter now?" Kenpachi groaned, "You see something scary and wet your pants?"

"Shut up!" the Kuchiki heir hissed, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what? Now you're hearing things? I think you need a check up when we get home..."

"I think you need a..."

Byakuya stiffened and his eyes widened as the brush to their right seemed to explode and a huge black creature with a beetle-like body shot towards them, looking as though it was sliding across the ground at high speed.

"Kenpachi!" the noble shouted, taking hold of his fellow captain and dragging him to the ground as the beetle charged by within inches of them and slammed into a cluster of pine trees, reducing them to a haphazard pile of splinters.

"Huh?" mused the eleventh division captain as he hit the ground and rolled reflexively, "Something up or did you just want to hug me?"

"Over there, baka!" Byakuya scolded him, pointing, "Some kind of huge, very destructive insect."

"Aww, I thought you were just getting horny again," Kenpachi snickered, drawing his sword.

"What are you doing with _that_?" Byakuya demanded, ignoring his comment, "Did you _see _that thing is armored? You can't cut it with...Kenpachi!"

The bigger man ignored him and charged at the beetle, slashing with his sword and howling with delight. He made a sound of surprise as his weapon clanked uselessly and tumbled from his hand, then the beast turned and crashed into him, sending him tumbling away in a cloud of dust.

"Kenpachi!"

Byakuya studied the beetle as the dust swirled between Kenpachi and him, noting the softer points around the neck joint and odd forked tail.

"You have to find a weak spot, you fool!" he muttered, moving forward and using the brush as cover while he moved into position.

But he was forced to act as the beetle appeared to decide that the dust had cleared enough and charged at the eleventh division captain again. Byakuya flash stepped and slashed at the joint near the neck, making a sound of triumph as black blood leaked from the area. Byakuya barely had time to touch down before having to flash step away as the beast charged him. He barely escaped the tip of one of the two large horns that adorned the creature's head, then dropped to the ground as the small, sharp tail snapped just over his head.

"Haha! So you wanna play, huh?" Kenpachi laughed, "Good, I feel like a good fight. Come on, let's do this!"

Byakuya stood and brushed the dust off his clothes, then watched quietly as his comrade stepped into the beetle's path, catching his sword in what appeared to be the creature's mouth. The beetle shot forward and crashed into another cluster of trees, sending Kenpachi tumbling away again.

"Do you _ever _learn?" Byakuya sighed, bringing his weapon out and shifting into shikai without uttering a word.

He started to direct the pink petal blades, then stopped again as a roar of reiatsu rose up in front of the beetle and a massive cleaver-shaped zanpakutou appeared in Zaraki's hand.

"Well, it's about time," Byakuya mused, holding his petals in check while his fellow captain slashed at the beetle and surprised the noble by actually penetrating and drawing a splash of blood.

The beetle screeched and waved its tentacles around furiously, turning and propelling itself at the one who had struck it. Kenpachi swung his sword as the creature passed him, cleaning slicing off the beast's head at the neck joint. The beetle spun wildly, expelling putrid smelling black blood and thoroughly coating Kenpachi as he sealed his sword and uttered a string of obscenities. He took a staggering step towards Byakuya, then noticed some red blood running down his body, along with the beetle's black blood.

"Damn," he muttered, "He must've got me with that horn..."

He stumbled towards the stunned noble, while the beetle shuddered and collapsed behind him, then he collapsed ingloriously into Byakuya's arms.

"Oh!" exclaimed Byakuya, reeling as the deadly scent struck his nostrils, "You couldn't keep that awful stench to yourself, could you? Ugh!"

He tried to grab on to the few cleaner spots on his unconscious comrade's clothing, but found himself stymied as the ooze continued to drizzle and make large, smelly drops onto his hands and arms.

"If I didn't despise you before, I really do now!" he complained, dragging Kenpachi back to the water's edge, "You smell disgusting!"

He reached the water and rolled Kenpachi into the shallows at the edge, carefully keeping his face at the surface, while he washed away the pungent slime.

"Ugh, even washing it off doesn't seem to help."

He anchored the unconscious captain in the mud and sought his pack for a small piece of soap, then stripped Kenpachi bare and began to bathe him more thoroughly, while also tackling the sludge that had gotten onto his own skin. Slender hands found the jagged wound where the beetle had gored Kenpachi and Byakuya sent healing power into the area.

"It is a good thing that my reiatsu was restored enough or I'd be giving you back your gift of life force," Byakuya sighed, "You are a lucky man, Kenpachi."

"Heh," the bigger man chuckled, startling the noble, then yanking him down into a long, wet kiss, "I am, huh."

"What are you doing? Let go of me!" Byakuya snapped.

"What are you talking about?" Kenpachi mumbled, "You were touching me all over, giving me a great body rub. You got me hard, see?"

Byakuya flinched at the size of what he had awakened.

"You can't leave me like this, right?"

"I am not having sex with you. You stink!" Byakuya complained, shoving him away.

"Well, you know, you don't exactly smell like roses yourself, Princess."

"Don't call me that!" Byakuya shouted, striking the other captain on the shoulder and arm.

"All right, all right! Take it easy. My head's still foggy."

"When is it not?" Byakuya huffed, turning away and working at his own naked body with the soap.

He froze as Kenpachi's arms wrapped around him from behind and the bigger man's voice rumbled seductively in his ear.

"Thanks for taking care of me, Kuchiki."

Byakuya's eyes closed and he felt a soft shudder move through his loins. He held perfectly still, knowing he should shove the other man away, but powerless to move. Kenpachi took hold of his chin and dragged him into a long, lascivious over the shoulder kiss that ended with his legs collapsing and Kenpachi bearing him down into the water. He held on tightly to his comrade's muscular shoulders as Kenpachi's wetted fingers invaded and quickly prepared him. Byakuya groaned as his body was roughly breached and he laid in the shallow water, gazing dazedly up into the tree branches as Kenpachi's hips thrust hard and fast, making everything above him turn into swirls of green and blue. Pleasure exploded through him, from head to toe, dragging lurid moans from deep in his chest that mingled with Kenpachi's primal sounds as they climaxed together and fell still. Kenpachi looked down at him and gave him a lopsided smile.

"Thanks for the bath and the healing. I don't think we stink anymore. We should go."

Byakuya watched as Kenpachi exited the water, then dragged himself to his feet and followed. The two dried off and dressed, then moved on down the trail.

"You do remember that I didn't want to have sex with you anymore," Byakuya reminded his comrade.

"Yeah, I remember, although, you weren't complaining while we were at it," Kenpachi chuckled, "Didn't seem like you had breath to speak."

"Shut up," Byakuya grumbled, taking the lead again, "Let's just get out of here!"


	5. The Anomaly

**Chapter 5: The Anomaly**

_Squad 12 Captain's Log Entry 212019: There is a circumstance in science that is somewhat of a mixed blessing...the anomaly. It often leads to great discovery, but almost as often involves some amount of blasted annoyance. Yes, a double edged sword, a love that binds and burns, or in my case, a flower that smells lovely, but is surrounded in thorns. It is a delightful and maddening mystery what is happening inside Byakuya Kuchiki's body. _

_The parasitic reiatsu that found its way into him is now attached to his systems and appears to be nurturing itself, using his veins and spirit core. This occurs at a rate at which he does not sense the intrusion. But I am noticing some curious oddities in his behavior that seem to be meant to distract him from what is hiding in his body. I likely couldn't remove it without killing him, so the other option is to watch it and see if it kills him and saves me the trouble. _

_But another infuriating factor to add to the rest is that whatever has buried itself in Byakuya Kuchiki is somehow having an effect on the brutish captain of Squad 11. I have never once seen that man nurture anything, well, except for that pink-haired vice captain of his, but she is as much of an anomaly as he is. And with Kuchiki being the anomaly I want to focus on, having a second anomaly as troublesome as Kenpachi Zaraki is nearly enough to end this charade and kill them both._

_I would have killed them already, but sadly, they have made me curious._

_Damn those two!_

XXXXXXXXXX

"Are you feeling any better, Kuchiki?" Kenpachi asked, a measure of genuine sympathy in his voice making Byakuya pause in his eating and look up disdainfully at the other man, "You still look pale as ghost shit, but you're not eating like someone does when they feel bad. You'd think there was two of you in there..."

"Are you trying to goad me into a fight or is this just your usual level of cluelessness?" the noble asked dryly.

"Well, I wouldn't mind a good fight, but I'd rather fight you while you're in top form and not taking turns vomiting, fainting and eating like a horse."

"Haven't you ever had a virus?" the noble asked sarcastically, "Or do even germs find you too repulsive?"

"Yeah, I get sick. You puke, you crap until it comes out liquid and then you feel better, but you don't do that while you're slamming down about twice the food your much bigger comrade eats. You're gonna get too fat to fit into your uniform."

Byakuya gave Kenpachi a look of undisguised hatred.

"How dare you, you overgrown warthog!" the noble spat, throwing his bowl at Kenpachi and following with a kido enforced punch to the face.

Kenpachi caught Byakuya's hand just short of his face and breathed an aggravated sigh as Byakuya made a discomfited grunt before going sheet white and crashing to the ground at his fellow captain's feet.

"Fuck, Kuchiki," the big man complained, lifting the unconscious noble into his arms and carrying him to where their bedding was laid out, "We might as well stop looking for the goddamned exit, as often as we have to stop for your little hissyfits. Come on, let's get you fixed up."

He laid the noble down on his side on the mat and covered him with a light blanket.

"You're a little warm," he commented, feeling Byakuya's pale, sweaty face, "But that's no problem, right? I got the fix for that right here."

He removed a small washcloth from Byakuya's pack and dampened it in the nearby stream, then washed the noble's face and throat. Byakuya sighed sleepily and his body relaxed noticeably.

"Feel better now?" Kenpachi chuckled, "Thought you would. I just wish you'd wake up and insult me a little. This is boring as hell and I wanna go home. I sure as hell can't sense the way back, so you've gotta quit doing this and find the way out. You think you can do that, Kuchiki?"

Byakuya groaned and shifted in his sleep, while Kenpachi watched closely, then sighed again and relaxed.

"Eh," he grumbled, "I was afraid of that. Guess I'd better go and get a few fish for breakfast. You know, you're eating us outta house and home. You knock off those fish faster than I can catch'em and five minutes later wanna eat'em all over again. What is with you, Kuchiki? This isn't like any virus I ever saw."

Byakuya grunted uncomfortably and came awake, his eyes widening and a hand rising to cover his mouth as he hastily exited his mat and staggered away. Kenpachi let out an annoyed breath and waited until the sounds of sickness had passed, then walked to where Byakuya knelt, holding his abdomen and looking even more pale.

"We've gotta get you home. I don't want you dying on me."

"I'm not dying," Byakuya moaned softly, "It's just a nasty..."

"...a virus," Kenpachi finished, helping the noble to his feet and guiding him back to their campsite, "Do you feel good enough for some tea?"

"N-not yours," Byakuya groaned thickly, "I'll make some when the forest stops spinning."

"Shut up, will you? My tea's not that bad. You said it was getting better."

"I was delirious."

"Well, you don't exactly look like you're all here now, so I think I'll make the tea."

"Fine. Please, just stop speaking to me!"

"Man, you're bitchy today..." Kenpachi chuckled, helping the noble back to the mat, then starting the tea.

He frowned and stole glances at Byakuya as he slept, an odd feeling of worry nagging at him.

_We really need to get him back home to be looked at. I've never known Kuchiki to act like this...like a pregnant girl. Damn, I really hope he's not dying. He's a good fighter._

He left the campfire for a moment and extended his senses, trying to orient on the location of the precipice world, but after several long minutes had only managed to give himself a pounding headache. He finished making the tea and brought a cup to the fitfully sleeping noble.

"Here you go," he offered, lifting Byakuya slightly and holding the cup to his lips, "This'll fix you up."

He felt a knot of growing worry as Byakuya said nothing, but only sipped carefully at the hot liquid, then sank back into sleep.

_I've really got to do something..._

He moved to sit beside the sleeping Kuchiki heir, looking down at him quietly and trying to remember even the basics of healer assessment.

_This is a bad time to be a guy who stinks at reiatsu sensing of any kind. But I really don't want Kuchiki to die here, so I'll just give this a try and..._

He was drawn back out of his reverie as he realized that something about his lovely noble companion had changed. Although Byakuya remained deeply asleep, his body had begun to glow a soft pink color and just looking at it made Kenpachi lean closer.

"What the hell?"

He flinched as he felt a strange tugging inside and instinctively, he released his reiatsu in response. His more golden colored reiatsu swirled lazily in between them, then spiraled downward and slid into Byakuya's resting body. And as he continued the calm infusion, the look of distress left Byakuya's face and he rested more comfortably. And seeing him like that made an unusual warmth blossom in Kenpachi's insides. Not sure why he wanted to, he laid down and curled his bigger body around the noble's.

_Man, this feels good. I don't know why. Usually, I don't like to sit still, let alone lie around, but...he's soft. He smells good. I want to..._

Before he realized what he was doing, he had turned slightly and his lips were touching the senseless noble's. Byakuya shifted without coming awake, his lips pressing sleepily against Kenpachi's rougher ones and his thighs parting easily. Given the invitation and the hard rush of arousal that seeped in. Kenpachi groaned softly and moved their clothing enough to permit an unscripted joining of their bodies.

Still unaware, Byakuya moved easily with the bigger man as Kenpachi's hips moved restlessly and his dazed mind drank in the hypnotically erotic sensations. Everything seemed to strike him at once, the cool evening air, the softness of Byakuya's skin and hair, the even softer and more beautiful sounds he made as his barbarian partner made love to him.

_I feel kinda guilty, but...fuck...!_

And all sense of guilt left him as the noble's eyes opened and Byakuya's only reaction to finding himself being penetrated by Kenpachi was to close his eyes again and writhe hard against the bigger man's undulating body. His pristine mouth, so given to insulting his beastly comrade only opened to expel hungry moans and gasps of pleasure as their motions brought the two up and over into a powerful, mutual release.

Kenpachi cringed as the heavy throbs of orgasm faded and he expected Byakuya to return to being icy and insulting, but to his surprise, the noble only snuggled close to him, saying nothing at all, and swiftly falling asleep again.

"Huh...maybe he'll just think he was dreaming or something..."

XXXXXXXXXX

"Nemu! Did you get the results of the last scan on Captain Kuchiki?" Mayuri asked impatiently.

"Yes sir," the girl responded solemnly, "The parasite is growing, but at a curiously slow rate. It is stealing nutrients from Captain Kuchiki's systems, but the rate at which it does so is not dangerous."

"So much for wishful thinking," the scientist huffed, "Did you scan the parasite's reiatsu?"

"Yes sir. The reiatsu is unique, but seems to have stolen some of Captain Kuchiki's own markers. Interestingly, it also has some of Captain Zaraki's markers."

"Well, as much as that barbarian has been plundering him, it's probably just a contaminated sampling. Run the scans again and feed the results to my computer."

"Yes sir."

Mayuri turned his attention back to the monitor in front of him.

"No poison, no signs of dangerous encroachment...then what is this thing? And what good is it if it doesn't make something significant happen? Ah, his brain?"

He tapped furiously at the keyboard.

"No, damn it! Brain function is normal...thought patterns chaotic, but non-destructive. He's not suicidal or deranged. Gah! What is the answer? This is going to drive me crazy!"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Good morning, beautiful," Kenpachi rumbled softly, nuzzling his waking comrade's cheek, "You feeling better now?"

Byakuya opened a dark grey eye and glanced down to where his naked and plundered body was entwined with Kenpachi's, then looked back at the other man.

"You were having sex with me while I was unconscious?" he mused, "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

"Hey, you were awake enough to roll around with me and you weren't complaining, especially after the belly rub I gave you. You really looked better after a little infusion of my reiatsu. Magical stuff, eh?"

"Hmmm," Byakuya sighed, "no wonder I have an urge to go kill something. Would you like to volunteer to be the quarry?"

"Later, we need to get you home. You're really not okay. I sense something weird in your reiatsu."

"You do?" Byakuya queried, frowning and slowly sitting up, "But you are hopeless at reiatsu sensing..."

He slid a hand down and ran it over his chest and stomach, sensing each area, then moving on to the next. He paused over his lower abdomen and his frown deepened.

"Kenpachi," he said, looking confused, "I know this is an extremely strange question for me to be asking you, but...there is no chance that you have any appreciable amount of noble blood...is there?"

The big man laughed and spread his arms out, looking down at himself.

"Hell no!" he answered in an amused tone, "You see anything here that isn't pureblood mongrel?"

"Not really," Byakuya sighed, "I just can't think of what this could be. You're right. We need to get out of here."

"All right," Kenpachi said, climbing to his feet and helping the unsteady noble up, "Tell you what, you pick a direction and what you think is the closest weak spot in this place and I'll try to blast an opening."

Byakuya scowled.

"What are you saying? That will never work! You would have to have..."

"Hey, you also said I couldn't cut that little stink bug before. I did that."

"I said you couldn't cut it with your sealed sword."

"Fine, so I used something a little bit bigger. I'll do that now. Unless you have a better idea, sweetheart."

"Don't call me that!" Byakuya snapped.

"Oh, you're feeling great now, huh? I think I liked you better when you were unconscious."

"I think I liked you better when you being manhandled by that sternritter pretending to be the quincy king!" Byakuya fumed.

"Hey, don't go there, Kuchiki! You got your ass raped by your own bankai. You shouldn't go calling me weak when you lost too. Let's just stick to the here and now and get ourselves the fuck outta here before I get really pissed and fry you and this place and me altogether!"

"Fine! Anything to get out of here and away from you!"

Back in the twelfth division laboratory, Mayuri rolled his eyes and groaned, putting a hand to his head.

"Nemu! Pain reliever...now! I wish I could be rid of the pain of dealing with these two!"

"Well then," said Shunsui from behind him, "You won't mind if I take those two off your hands now, right?"

"Eh, what?" the twelfth division captain squawked, turning, "What the devil are you doing, showing up in my lab unannounced? I have delicate experiments going on. You'll make my readings go haywire!"

"I hope you aren't conducting any illegal experiments on our fellow captains," Shunsui said, his tone still jovial, but a hint of mayhem in his eyes.

"No, no, they just stumbled into one of the pocket dimensions that I have a little less control over and I've been attempting to stabilize the doorway to get them out."

Shunsui glanced at the monitor and smiled as Byakuya's slender hand pointed towards a place in the sky and Kenpachi's crushing reiatsu swelled, fired and slammed into it, shattering the barrier and opening the way into the precipice world.

"Ah, I think they took care of that for you."

"Augh!" Mayuri roared, "That brute has unsettled the whole Dangai! Nemu, start recalibrations now before the whole region explodes! Those brainless idiots! Weren't they sent here for being destructive? They need a longer time in my lab to redeem themselves."

"I don't think so," Shunsui said, opening a senkaimon and smiling as the two smudged and singed captains stumbled into the lab.

"Baka!" Byakuya snapped, "You could have killed us both!"

"Stop your bitching. I got us back, didn't I?"

"Gentlemen?" Shunsui greeted them, "Welcome back. I trust you have mended fences and are ready to return to your divisions?"

Byakuya and Kenpachi exchanged heated glances.

"Anything to get away from that unrefined mongrel!" Byakuya huffed.

"Huh, anything to get away from that prissy little princess!" Kenpachi countered.

"I see. So, you're still angry with each other, but not enough to make you want to tear up half the Seireitei fighting?" Shunsui said, eyeing them meaningfully, "I can put you back on duty and you'll actually defend something instead of destroying it?"

"Yes sir," the two said together, looking away from each other.

"All right, then. Why don't you two take the rest of the day off and get yourselves cleaned up and rested? You can resume your duties tomorrow."

"Thanks, Head Captain," Kenpachi said, recovering his more cocky grin, "But Kuchiki should be checked out. He's been sick most of the time we were locked...erm...trapped in the pocket dimension."

"Is that right?" Shunsui inquired, giving Byakuya a concerned look, "That doesn't sound good. Captain Kuchiki, are you still ill?"

"A bit weary and somewhat nauseous, but it is nothing."

"Nothing," Kenpachi grumbled, "I carry his ass halfway across that pocket dimension with him throwing up and fainting and he says it's nothing."

"Kenpachi...!"

"Hey, hey, hold it down," Shunsui chided them, "I'm sure Captain Kuchiki will be fine. Byakuya, you should just check in with the fourth division, get them to issue you a clearance."

"Why do I need a clearance?" Byakuya complained, "I am a little nauseous, that's all. I don't need a healer..."

"Well, let's just be on the safe side. You get your clearance and all's right with the three worlds again, okay?"

Byakuya loosed a discontented sigh.

"Oh, very well."

The captain commander laughed and led the two out of the twelfth as Mayuri stood, crossing his arms and staring daggers at their backs.

"Well," he muttered, thank goodness I had the foresight to attach surveillance monitors on their bodies..."

Outside the division, Shunsui paused and looked back at his two battered colleagues.

"I have to leave now. Can I trust you two not to destroy anything?"

"I don't know if that beast can contain himself, but I will follow orders and go to the fourth division," Byakuya answered.

"You want me to carry you, doll?" Kenpachi asked, grinning, "I kinda got used to it in there."

Byakuya's eyes glinted hatefully, but he gritted his teeth and spat out a clipped response.

"No. I will be fine."

"You see," Shunsui said, smiling charmingly, "We're all one big happy family."

"Please do not ever suggest that barbarian and the noble families share any kind of connection," Byakuya sighed, "I already feel sick enough as it is."

"Well then, you'd better get going," Shunsui chuckled, "I'll see you two for the captain's meeting in the morning."

Byakuya and Kenpachi watched as their superior flash stepped away.

"Well, it's been fun, Byakuya," Kenpachi said, surprising the noble with the more casual use of his name, "Let's spar again when you're feeling better, okay?"

Byakuya watched wordlessly as the eleventh division captain disappeared, leaving him alone.

"Let's not," he said, frowning, "I think we've done enough damage."


	6. Fly on the Wall

**Chapter 6: Fly on the Wall**

**(More Kenny/Bya by request! Enjoy the new chapter, and don't forget to weigh in on the poll on my profile page! Let me know what pairings you think are the best. I will keep bringing you new chapters of the stories you love and churning out new ones as fresh plot bunnies strike! Love, Spunky)**

_Squad 12 Captain's Log Entry 212020: At first, it seemed a bother that that dratted drunk head captain of ours let those two fools off so easily. Back in the day, I would have had them in chains, screaming for mercy as I did what experiments I pleased. Scientific research took a dismal turn when the powers that be started worrying so much about being humane and having limits. Don't those idiots understand? We scientists, given the freedom to explore as we will, can come up with wondrous things when not tasked with the boring, everyday needs of our whiny little, mundane, research subjects._

_But if there's one thing about a truly great scientist, he learns to employ his wits and wiles so that no alarm bells are set off, as he ceaselessly pursues the unknown. As such, I was, of course, astute enough with that barbarian and the vain Captain Kuchiki to employ a device that would provide me with a way of monitoring them. So now, I can just sit back and watch as whatever is inside Captain Kuchiki grows and strengthens until it unleashes its havoc on him and everyone around him. It is sure to be pure chaos, and I look forward to collecting the myriad of data that results. This is even better than leaving those two in the precipice world. When this erupts, there will be so much destruction, our new captain commander will have no choice but to turn Zaraki and Kuchiki over to me for a complete analysis. And, to be sure, I'll make it the single most painful thing they have ever experienced! No one crosses me and walks away free...no one!_

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya laid, collapsed and splayed out on his belly across the huge, comfortable bed in his grand suite, his arms curled around a large, soft pillow and more all around him, gently supporting his slender, resting form. He cracked open a dark grey eye and sighed, admiring the lovely antique cherry wood furnishings and family portraits that decorated the warm paneled walls, and the opened garden doors that let in the fresh scents of flowers and grass.

_It is good to be home. There is nothing like returning to this, especially after such a horrid experience as that trip into the precipice world. Marching through the wilderness and being manhandled by the rough natives, then again by that uncultured barbarian..._

He paused for a moment as an unbidden memory slid into his half-awake mind.

_"Ugh," Byakuya sighed, letting his face drop into his hands in capitulation, "You don't make sense at all. I mean, you would risk your own life to save mine, but then you'd take it just for fun. Don't you see how ridiculous that is? If you care for protecting someone's life, you shouldn't then __take it yourself__!"_

_"Maybe," Kenpachi shrugged, "but the truth is, you're really pretty when you fight."_

_Byakuya stared back at him wordlessly._

_Kenpachi leaned closer, brushing a few stray hairs away from his face and Byakuya felt the oddest sense of those hands being caring, even loving in the way they touched him._

_"Bold white reiatsu," he went on in a softer rumble of words, "curling all around you like an ice storm...death in those big grey eyes of yours. Your hair fluttering all around your face and your face smudged, not perfect or clean. The smell of sweat and blood is better mixed with that sweet smell that's always around you. And your clothes look good torn and stained with blood from the good fight, the kind you put your heart into and that you really want to win. You move like the swamp cougars down in the low Rukon where I grew up, stalking your opponent like prey and drawing them out to understand them before moving in and making the kill."_

_Byakuya gazed up into the bigger man's intense hazel eyes that were now much closer, his heart pounding strangely in his chest and his throat suddenly gone dry._

_"Kenpachi," he said in an almost dazed tone, "you are a __very, very deranged person__."_

He felt a strange twinge in his belly and a flash of heat that left him blushing and suddenly aroused as he remembered what it felt like to be held by those strong, unyielding arms.

_The two remained frozen for several long moments, a heady feeling of dark temptation teasing both men dangerously. And before he quite realized it was happening, Byakuya leaned forward very slowly, bringing his lips to the other man's and brushing against them lightly. Kenpachi flinched and stared, stunned into silence at the softness of the lips that sought his and overcome by the mingled scents of sakura and fiery, scorched earth. His arms slipped around the slighter man, pulling him closer as he bit down on that sinfully soft mouth, then teased it open and slipped his tongue inside to explore more thoroughly. Byakuya's hands came to rest on his shoulders, neither quite holding on nor pushing him away. The noble's eyes closed against what was happening and even though he knew very well it was wrong, he couldn't make himself move to stop what was happening. Instead, he kept his eyes closed and opened his mouth wider to permit even deeper penetration._

_Kissing Hisana was never like this__, he mused inwardly, __She was fragile and I was always having to hold back my reiatsu so I wouldn't overwhelm her. I could never relax into our kisses like this. Kenpachi won't break and neither will I. We can love each other more ruthlessly. I never realized what an attractive thing that was._

_But..._

_His mind went blank for a moment as he felt Kenpachi's hand loose the tie on his yukata and he slid onto the bigger man's lap, returning Kenpachi's kisses with equal ferocity. Heat and reiatsu flared around the two, exciting the breezes around them and making the leaves in the trees flutter. But neither man noticed a thing, wholly focused on each other as they kissed with more fervor and Byakuya ground his hips into the other man's, reeling at the size of him, unable to fathom how he would dare to take something like that inside himself. But he couldn't move or object as the bigger man's fingers slid down between them and slowly prepared him and he went nearly breathless as Kenpachi's hands captured his hips and guided him with unusual care as they joined thier bodies._

Byakuya stopped himself forcibly, blushing more furiously and feeling his unruly member throb painfully.

_What is wrong with me?_

_I am back in my home, safe and comfortable, that whole travesty finally behind me...and my body is longing for him?_

_This is insane!_

He swallowed hard, breathing in the sweetly scented air and trying to make the memories disappear. But no matter how he tried, Zaraki's madly grinning face and gruff voice played back mercilessly in his head. The discomfort in his loins swelled and he started to feel an oncoming sensation of nausea. Breathing even more slowly and trying to focus on the comfort and beauty of being home seemed to have no effect. He grew more and more uncomfortable until he felt the need to swiftly exit the bed and head for the bathroom. He fell onto his knees and emptied his stomach violently, flushing even more as he realized that he had slipped out of his yukata while he had slept and had forgotten to grab it as he ran for the bathroom.

_But I shouldn't feel embarrassed. Torio has seen me without clothes nearly every day when he bathes me._

He registered approaching footsteps and groaned discontentedly.

"Torio, not now," he complained, "I will take care of myself. Please go."

"Sorry to disappoint you, sweetheart," Zaraki's rough voice said from the doorway, "It's not your servant. It's me."

Byakuya cringed inwardly at the instant feeling of humiliation that accompanied being seen, naked and crouched over the toilet, by his fellow captain, but he forced away the temptation to attack the barbarian captain and just looked up at him dazedly.

"Why in kami's name are you here, disturbing me?"

"Lord Byakuya!" Torio exclaimed, peeking in through the doorway and blinking in surprise at the sight of his master, scandalously unclothed, bent over the toilet and in the company of the rough, wild looking captain of the eleventh division, "Lord Byakuya, are you all right? Do you need a healer?"

"He's okay," Zaraki said, waving the young man off, "I've got this. Take a hike, okay?"

"L-lord Byakuya?" Torio inquired uncertainly.

"I said scram!" Zaraki snapped.

Byakuya sighed resignedly.

"I will be fine, Torio. Please excuse us."

Torio hesitated, glancing uneasily from the big captain to his naked and discomfited looking master.

"Are...are you sure, Lord Byakuya?" he asked uncertainly.

"Yes," Byakuya managed, turning his head away and loosing himself into the toilet again, "I will be...urgh...f-fine."

"Um...v-very well, sir. Please call me if you change your mind," Torio stammered, backing out of the bathroom and leaving them alone.

"C'mon, it looks like you're done throwing up," Kenpachi said, sliding an arm around Byakuya and dragging him onto unsteady legs, "Let's get you back to bed where you belong."

"Don't touch me, you foul, disgusting beast!" Byakuya hissed furiously, struggling as Kenpachi tossed him over a muscular shoulder and carried him back to the bed.

The big man surprised him by letting him down gently and tucking him in comfortably. He sat down beside the confused looking noble and gave him a lopsided smile.

"So, did the guys at the fourth figure out why you're throwing up all of the time and passing out a lot?"

"Not yet," Byakuya said, frowning and looking up as Torio returned to the bedroom, bearing a tea tray.

"I've brought some ginger tea, sir," said the attendant, delivering the cup to Byakuya's hand, "Please let me know if you need the healer to come."

"Thank you, Torio," Byakuya said, excusing the attendant.

He turned his attention back to Zaraki as Torio exited the room.

"The healers ran some tests and I am awaiting the results. By the time they arrive, I will probably be over whatever this is."

He paused, his frown deepening.

"Kenpachi, have you had any unusual feelings of illness?" he asked curiously.

"Nope, I'm fit as a fiddle."

"Hmm," Byakuya mused.

"You still feeling sick now?" Zaraki asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Byakuya confessed, "but if you will leave and allow me to rest, I'm sure I will be fine."

"Nice brush off," Zaraki chuckled, "but I have an idea of something that might make you feel better."

"And you think you know better then my own trained healers, what I need?" Byakuya asked archly.

"Maybe," the big man said, shrugging, "I don't think it will hurt to try. I did it to you while we were trapped and you were asleep, and it seemed to help."

"You are _not_ having sex with me again!" Byakuya snapped angrily.

"Take it easy, princess," Kenpachi laughed, "I wasn't going to fuck you. I will if you want it, but that's not what I was talking about."

"Good, because I would rather walk naked through the Kuchiki council hall in front of everyone."

"Nice image," Kenpachi snickered, flinching as Byakuya's hand stung his shoulder with a resounding slap.

"Get away from me, you disgusting _animal_!" he complained.

"Shut up and just relax, okay?"

Byakuya blinked in surprise and started to struggle as Kenpachi slid in behind him and wrapped his arms around the stunned noble.

"What are you doing? Get away from me!"

"Hold still, I'm not going to jump you, I said."

"Let go of me!"

"Knock it off and just hold still for a minute. I promise I'll leave after that."

Byakuya let out another resigned sigh and relaxed in the bigger man's arms.

"Fine. Just get this over with. I want to go back to sleep."

"We have a captain's meeting," Zaraki reminded him.

"Damn," Byakuya groaned, closing his eyes.

He felt Kenpachi's big, rough hands slide down to caress his soft belly, then the flare of the other man's reiatsu, and he opened his eyes in surprise.

"Kenpachi..."

"Shh," Zaraki purred into his ear, "You see, it seems to help when I give you a little infusion of my reiatsu."

"But...!"

"Take it easy. It's not my life force this time, just some of my regular reiatsu," Kenpachi explained, rubbing Byakuya's belly and continuing the slow release of his power, "It feels good, right?"

"Oddly, yes," Byakuya said, looking surprised, then alarmed, then conflicted by turns.

He watched in silence as his comrade finished infusing him, then withdrew his hands and extracted himself from behind the noble. Byakuya felt the comfort of relief from the sick feeling and dizziness he had experienced before, but found the discomfort replaced with growing concern as he realized that he was aroused and growing more so by the moment. And as Kenpachi stood, he felt a moment of intense heat that threatened to incinerate him.

"Kenpachi..." he said in a lower, more sultry voice that he knew didn't sound at all like him.

The sound made the other man turn back and sit down on the bed again.

"You want something from me, Kuchiki?" Kenpachi asked, touching Byakuya's hand and sending throbs of wanton desire through the noble's excited loins.

Byakuya swallowed hard, trying to fight the sensation, but crumbling as Kenpachi's lips smiled at him, and the bigger man's palm touched his flushed cheek.

"It made us horny again," Kenpachi observed, glaring into Byakuya's widened eyes, "You want to have sex with me now?"

"Get out of here!" Byakuya panted, shoving him away as the bigger man leaned forward to kiss him.

"Aww, you don't mean that," Kenpachi said, looking amused, "But I guess I can leave and let you take care of yourself, if you'd rather. Sorry to bother you, Kuchiki."

He started to get up, then made a sound of surprise as he was yanked down onto the bed and swiftly mounted by his piqued comrade.

"Changed your mind?" he laughed, watching with narrowed eyes as Byakuya loosened the bigger man's clothing, then spread his milky, white thighs and positioned himself to join with him.

"Shut up!" the noble hissed fiercely, "This is your fault. You shouldn't have done that!"

"Hey, it made you feel better, didn't it?"

"That's beside the point. You shouldn't have done it! It is a ritual that married spouses engage in when they are having a child!"

The two men went quiet for a moment as Byakuya engaged their bodies. They gave themselves over then to the throes of arousal and a barrage of heavy, thunderous undulations. Their reiatsu exploded around them, making the room shudder and knocking over several pictures and small, decorative statues. The two men grunted and panted erotically, writhing harder as they sensed the approach of that much needed pleasure. They stiffened and released together, glaring into each other's eyes and forgetting everything for a moment as intense pleasure raked their bodies, making them collapse into a heated tangle, still exchanging hard, biting kisses.

Byakuya pulled away, staring at the bigger man, his heart pounding furiously and his head throbbing with realization.

"You okay, Kuchiki?" Zaraki purred happily, "You look like you might pass out. Want me to get Torio?"

"N-no," Byakuya managed, still staring in disbelief as he tried to gather his scrambled thoughts.

_It isn't possible. It just isn't_, he told himself, _Kenpachi Zaraki is a peasant from the low Rukongai. The man is nearly as primal as an ape. I don't think a drop of noble blood could possibly survive in that monstrous body of his. It would be eaten alive!_

_But..._

"Kuchiki?"

_I know what he just did. It was a balancing ritual, used by expecting noble parents. It is especially important with paired noble males, because the rare impregnated male is subject to sometimes dangerous power imbalances._

"Hey, Byakuya?"

_Kenpachi...he..._

He stared with shocked eyes, up into Kenpachi's piqued gaze, his head spinning with the reality.

"What's wrong with you now?" Kenpachi complained, "I thought I made you feel better!"

"Made me feel better?" Byakuya repeated breathlessly, disbelief flooding him from head to toe, "How could I feel better?"

He looked down at his slim belly and touched it with curious fingertips, his eyes glazing over as his head swam and darkness began to close in.

"Byakuya!"

The word sounded garbled and Kenpachi's face began to disappear into the swirl of enclosing blackness.

"You fool!" Byakuya managed as he began to lose consciousness, "I think you've impregnated me!"

XXXXXXXXXX

Within his laboratory, Mayuri Kurotsuchi stared sightlessly at the screen in front of him, with widened, disbelieving eyes.

"Master Mayuri?" Nemu inquired curiously, turning her head to view the frozen image of the naked sixth and eleventh division captains, "Master Mayuri, are you all right?"

Mayuri blinked and started to speak, then stared harder at the screen, trying to make sense of Byakuya's last words.

"Nemu!" he snapped, finally breaking free of his stunned silence.

"Yes, sir?"

"Bring me everything you can find in the records about noble male pregnancy!"


End file.
